and the devil rents a room in my brain..

Secret

2010-12-08T09:20:00.000-08:00

I am back!

I know it's been half a year since i've been here. Way too many changes in my life, and i doubt a single post would suffice.. and since i have a lot of time in my hand, jobless at the time being, and nowhere to gash my emotions, i've decided to start blogging faithfully again, and hopefully, this lasts longer (:

A levels are finally over and done with, and i'm pretty disappointed with myself. It wasn't my full 100% and i really wish i could have pushed myself harder, but well, it's done like i said, might as well just get over the disappointment.

Lately, well rather, for the past few months, i've been feeling lost. I miss the person i used to be. I used to love myself, and the person i was. The free spirited, carefree person, who didnt gave two fucks about others. I don't hate myself now, but I am just, different. Maybe it's for the best, and I know I've become a better person in certain aspects, most definitely yes, but that's just made me lose my sense of identity. That one thing that made me, ME.

On a good note, i met the most amazing guy, and it has been a great year with him. Officially 5 months and 9 days. I see a future with him, actually I don't know if it's too early to decide, but I love him, more than anyone who's been in and out of my life, that's for sure. He makes me happy, he's tolerant with me and he adores me...

and i guess i better be off to cuddle on my bed, a long day tmr and i need atleast an hour to roll around my bed before i finally doze off.

Nights

Give me hope, that everything is all worth it.

mattersoftheeheart

2010-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's funny how some feelings just can't be denied;

and you don't wanna face what's wrong or right ♥

sucklickdiplicksuck

2010-05-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

screw you for late night temptations.meowwrrrrrrrr.

I want.

youstillhaveallofme

2010-05-04T06:52:00.000-07:00

If i could only make a deal with God,

to have you swap places with me...

So, it's been ages since i last blogged. Guess i just didnt have the urge to do so. Alot has been gg on, esp things i don't think it's important or memorable enough to put into words here. Some things are just best left behind in the past and hopefully forgotten, and as difficult as it is, i'm trying (:

For a start, i'm not in school anymore. Private As is definitely not a decision i'm happy about. I still regret not making right decisions in the past abt sch but yea, no point regretting about it. I'm mugging as much as i cld, tho i'm sure i can do twice as much. Need them As for uni entry into Biz. and i need to do this for the three important men in my life, Dad,Siva & Shan.

Apart from school issues, my social life is abit too loserish for my liking. However, i couldnt ask for more really. I get tired easily, cos i've been up all night either mugging or on fb[k i know :/] and all i wanna do is catch up on lost sleep and have personal time for myself. Did i mention, i'm in dire need of some pampering to say the least and i so could do with an awesome massage[i lurrve the glowing bod i get with all that oils they use.rahhh.],manicure & pedicure,NEW SHOES![sudden urge to get nike shoes] and i wouldnt mind another spa massage :D hmmmmm.

The matters of thee heart shall be saved for the next post ;)

I just realised that some things, some issues never change through the years.Family,for a start.

Just when i was getting comfortable about how fine things were getting, there was another blow. I never knew why i never had that so called perfect life. The least i asked for was a happy one,since i was 5. Guess this is gonna be like this always,cos like i mentioned earlier in my previous posts last year, it takes two hands to clap. As much as i'm trying to make the best out our r'ships, what's the point when the others don't give a fucking damn about it? The only thing i want now is to never have a married life like my parents or my brother. They are awesome people really, the best in my life, as individuals that is. fuck it. I just needed to let it all out.

On a happier note, Happy 23 to an awesome boy i know (:

and the devil rents a room in my brain..

**Secret**

**mattersoftheeheart**

*sucklickdiplicksuck*

**youstillhaveallofme**

Secret

mattersoftheeheart

sucklickdiplicksuck

youstillhaveallofme